Borderline personality disorder (BPD) affects people in different ways. No two experiences are the same. There are, however, common signs that can help spot it early. Recognising these signs makes it easier to get support and treatment. It can also help manage emotions and behaviour.
Early awareness can improve relationships and make everyday life more stable. Understanding the main patterns of BPD helps both the person affected and their family or carers provide and receive the right support.
Intense emotions
People with BPD often feel emotions very strongly. Moods can change quickly, sometimes within hours or minutes, and may be triggered by small events or misunderstandings. Emotions like anger, sadness, anxiety or frustration can feel overwhelming and hard to control.
Learn more: What is emotional dysregulation?
Fear of abandonment and rejection
A strong fear of being abandoned or rejected is common. Even small separations or misunderstandings may trigger panic or anxiety. This fear can lead to behaviours like clinging, overchecking or acting impulsively to avoid losing someone.
Learn more: What is a fear of abandonment?
Intense or unstable relationships
Relationships can feel very intense and change rapidly. People with BPD may idealise someone at first but become disappointed or angry when expectations aren’t met. Friendships, romantic relationships and family connections can feel like a constant rollercoaster.
Learn more: What is an intense relationship?
Impulsive behaviour
Impulsive actions can include risky spending, unsafe sex, substance use, binge eating or reckless driving. Some people also self-harm to cope with strong emotions, rather than to end their life.
Learn more: What is impulsive behaviour in BPD?
Self-identity issues
People with BPD often feel unsure about who they are, what they value or what they want in life. Their goals, interests, or sense of self may change frequently, leading to confusion or low self-esteem.
Anger control issues
People with BPD can experience intense and sudden anger, often triggered by feeling rejected, misunderstood or frustrated. These strong emotions can feel overwhelming, but recognising triggers and practising emotional regulation can help.
Self-harm or suicidal thoughts
Thoughts of suicide or self-harm can happen, especially during stressful times. These are usually ways to manage emotional pain, but professional support is very important.
Chronic feelings of emptiness
Many people with BPD feel empty or bored, even when supported by friends and family. This can lead to searching for constant reassurance or stimulation.
Physical symptoms and stress
Strong emotions can cause headaches, stomach problems, sleep issues or changes in appetite. Physical stress responses are common during emotional crises.
Summary: What are the main signs of BPD?
BPD affects emotions, relationships and self-identity. People may have intense moods, fear abandonment, act impulsively or struggle with relationships. Self-harm, emptiness and stress symptoms are also common.
Spotting these signs early can help people get therapy and support. This can improve wellbeing and daily life.