Emotional dysregulation is when feelings are very strong, last a long time and are hard to control.
Everyone feels strong emotions sometimes. But for some of us, emotions can take over our thoughts, actions, and daily life. This can make everyday situations feel stressful and overwhelming.
Emotional dysregulation is a key part of borderline personality disorder (BPD). In BPD, strong emotions and quick mood changes can affect your relationships, work and wellbeing. Understanding it early can help you manage your emotions better.
What does emotional dysregulation mean?
Emotional dysregulation means finding it hard to manage emotions in a steady way. Feelings like anger, sadness, anxiety, or excitement can become intense very quickly. Even small events can trigger strong emotional reactions, for example:
- Missing a bus
- Being criticised at work
- Having an argument with a friend
You may feel upset for hours or days and struggle to calm down. You may also overreact in ways that surprise others, such as crying uncontrollably or shouting over a minor disagreement.
Emotional dysregulation is sometimes called emotional intensity or emotional instability. Both terms describe experiencing feelings very strongly and finding it hard to keep emotions under control.
How does it affect daily life?
Emotional dysregulation can make daily life more difficult. Small conflicts may lead to strong reactions, such as:
- Withdrawing from loved ones
- Lashing out at others
- Experiencing intense mood swings
You may also act impulsively to cope, including:
- Spending too much money
- Using alcohol or drugs
- Self-harming
Even routine challenges, like deadlines at work or disagreements at home, can feel overwhelming. This can make relationships, school or work more stressful and exhausting.
Is emotional dysregulation part of BPD?
Yes, it is a core feature of borderline personality disorder (BPD). People with BPD often experience rapid mood changes and intense emotional reactions. You may feel elated one moment and deeply sad the next.
However, emotional dysregulation is not unique to BPD. It can also happen in other conditions, including ADHD, depression, PTSD or anxiety disorders.
Can emotional dysregulation improve?
Yes. Emotional regulation skills can be learned and strengthened. Therapies such as dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) or cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) teach ways to recognise triggers, manage emotions, and respond in healthier ways.
Other helpful strategies include:
- Mindfulness
- Breathing exercises
- Keeping a regular routine
- Getting enough sleep
- Exercise
Over time, these strategies can make intense emotions easier to manage. With practice, you can cope better with strong feelings and improve daily life and relationships.
Summary: What is emotional dysregulation?
Emotional dysregulation is when strong emotions are hard to control and affect behaviour, relationships and daily life. It is often linked to BPD but can occur in other conditions too. With therapy, coping strategies and support, you can learn to manage emotions more effectively and live calmer, more balanced lives.