Managing money can be tricky for anyone, but if you live with borderline personality disorder (BPD), it often comes with extra challenges. Emotional ups and downs, impulsivity, and stress can all affect how you handle finances. That’s why financial self-care is so important. Taking small, kind steps with your money can help you feel more in control, reduce anxiety, and support your overall wellbeing.
In this article, we’ll explore how BPD might affect your relationship with money, and offer simple, friendly advice to help you build healthy financial habits. Whether you’re just starting or looking for new ideas, there’s something here for you.
Table of Contents:
How BPD can affect your finances
Living with BPD means experiencing intense emotions that can change quickly. These emotional waves might influence spending habits, saving, and money management in different ways.
Impulsivity and spending
One common symptom of BPD is impulsivity — acting quickly without thinking things through. This can lead to spontaneous purchases or overspending, especially when emotions are high. You might buy things to feel better or distract yourself, but later regret it.
Emotional spending and mood
Money often becomes tied to how you feel. Shopping or spending might be a way to soothe anxiety, loneliness or boredom. On the other hand, difficult emotions like shame or guilt can make it hard to manage money responsibly.
Difficulty planning and organising
BPD can affect your ability to plan ahead or stay organised. Managing bills, budgeting and keeping track of expenses may feel overwhelming, especially when mood swings or stress get in the way.
Financial relationships
BPD sometimes affects how we relate to others, including around money. There can be challenges with sharing finances, asking for help, or setting boundaries if someone else is involved in your money matters.
What is financial self-care?
Financial self-care means looking after your money in ways that support your wellbeing. It’s not just about being careful or strict — it’s about kindness, understanding and taking control in a way that works for you.
Financial self-care can help reduce stress and build confidence with money. It’s a way to protect yourself from financial worries and create a more stable life.
Practical tips for financial self-care with BPD
Be gentle with yourself
First and foremost, remember you’re doing your best. Financial self-care isn’t about perfection. It’s about learning and growing without judgement. If things don’t go as planned, that’s okay — try again tomorrow.
Create a simple budget that suits you
A budget doesn’t have to be complicated. Start with a basic list of your income and essential expenses, like rent, bills, and food. Use a notebook, spreadsheet or a budgeting app that feels easy for you.
Keep it flexible and check in once a week rather than daily, so it doesn’t feel overwhelming.
Set small, realistic goals
Big money goals can feel scary or unachievable. Instead, focus on small steps like saving £5 a week or avoiding impulse buys for one day at a time. Celebrate these wins — they add up.
Build a buffer for impulsive spending
If you know you tend to spend impulsively, try setting aside a small “fun money” amount in your budget. This lets you enjoy some spontaneous purchases without guilt or risk to essentials.
Automate what you can
Automation can help reduce the stress of managing money. Set up direct debits for bills and savings if possible. This helps prevent late payments and keeps your savings growing quietly in the background.
Use tools that work for you
There are many apps and tools to help with money management. Look for ones that offer reminders, visual tracking or easy categorisation. Some apps even help you pause spending or limit purchases.
Practice mindfulness around spending
Before making a purchase, pause and ask yourself:
- Do I need this?
- How will this make me feel later?
- Is there a different way to soothe my emotions?
This simple pause can help interrupt impulsive spending and give you space to choose.
Keep a spending diary
Try writing down every purchase for a week or two. This increases awareness about where your money goes and how spending relates to your feelings. You might spot patterns or triggers you hadn’t noticed.
Get support if you want it
Talking to a trusted friend, family member or a financial counsellor can help you feel less alone. They can offer advice, encouragement and help you stay accountable to your goals.
Set boundaries around borrowing and lending
Money can cause tension in relationships, especially if you find it hard to say no. Be clear with yourself and others about what you’re comfortable with. It’s okay to say no if lending money feels risky or stressful.
Managing money during emotional crises
BPD often means facing emotional crises where managing money feels especially difficult. During these times, it helps to have a plan in place.
Create a crisis plan
Write down steps to take when emotions feel overwhelming, such as:
- Contacting a friend or support worker
- Distracting yourself with a hobby or walk
- Avoiding shopping apps or stores
- Using your “fun money” fund wisely
Having this plan ready can make tough moments a bit easier to handle.
Pause major financial decisions
Try to avoid big purchases or financial decisions when feeling very upset or impulsive. If you must, ask a trusted person to help you pause or review the choice.
Building a positive money mindset with BPD
Changing how you think about money takes time and patience. Here are some ways to create a kinder mindset around your finances.
Practice self-compassion
Treat yourself like a friend. When you make mistakes, remind yourself it’s normal and part of learning. Avoid harsh self-criticism or labels like “bad with money.”
Focus on progress, not perfection
Celebrate every step forward, no matter how small. Over time, these small wins build confidence and new habits.
Reframe spending as a tool, not a reward
Try to see money as a way to support your needs and goals, not just a way to feel better temporarily. This shift can help reduce emotional spending.
Learn from setbacks
When things go wrong, use it as a chance to reflect on what triggered the behaviour and what might help next time. Every setback is a step towards understanding yourself better.
Helpful resources and support
Managing money with BPD can feel easier with the right support. Here are some useful organisations and resources you might find helpful:
- StepChange – free debt advice and budgeting help
stepchange.org - National Debtline – advice on dealing with debt problems
nationaldebtline.org - Citizens Advice – support on money, benefits and rights
citizensadvice.org.uk - Turn2Us – help with benefits, grants and financial support
turn2us.org.uk - Mind – mental health support including advice on money and debt
mind.org.uk - Mental Health & Money Advice – guidance on managing money while facing mental health challenges
mentalhealthandmoneyadvice.org
You can also look into budgeting apps like Monzo, Yolt or Money Dashboard, and explore mindfulness or DBT apps to help with emotional regulation around money.
Final thoughts: Financial self-care with BPD
Financial self-care with BPD is about kindness, patience and taking control at your own pace. You don’t need to be perfect or have everything figured out. Small changes can make a big difference, helping you reduce stress and build a more secure financial future.
Remember, your relationship with money is part of your wider journey with BPD — honour your experiences, learn from challenges and celebrate your progress. You’re capable of managing your finances in a way that supports your wellbeing and your life.
If you want, start with just one tip from this article and see where it takes you. Financial self-care is a form of self-love, and it’s worth every effort.
