Living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can feel like being on an emotional rollercoaster. But when things are relatively stable, it’s a good time to focus on daily habits that keep you grounded and make everyday life more manageable.
This article is about gentle, everyday self-care that helps reduce stress, maintain emotional balance and build resilience over time. Whether you have BPD or are supporting someone who does, these practices can help create more space for peace in daily life.
Table of Contents:
How to manage your BPD with daily self-care practices
Start with your morning routine
Mornings can be tricky. Thoughts and feelings can feel overwhelming as soon as you wake up. Having a simple, consistent routine can offer a sense of control and safety.
Here are a few ideas:
- Open the curtains to let in natural light
- Make your bed – it’s a small win to start your day
- Drink a glass of water before anything else
- Take five deep breaths or stretch gently
- Write down how you’re feeling – no filter needed
The goal isn’t perfection. It’s about building something steady you can rely on, especially when emotions feel unpredictable.
Track your moods
Mood swings are a big part of BPD. Tracking how you feel day by day helps you notice patterns. It can help you understand triggers and recognise what helps when things feel intense.
You could:
- Use a mood tracking app
- Keep a journal with colour codes or emojis
- Rate your mood out of 10 and add a few words about why
Remember: mood tracking isn’t about judgement. It’s a way to be curious about your emotional world, not critical of it.
Take breaks throughout the day
BPD often comes with high emotional sensitivity. That can make daily tasks exhausting. Taking short, regular breaks helps your nervous system regulate and reset.
Try this:
- Step outside for 5 minutes of fresh air
- Listen to a calming playlist
- Do a body scan or guided meditation
- Sit quietly with a cup of tea
These moments don’t have to be long or fancy. They just need to give you a pause – a moment to breathe and come back to yourself.
Nourish your body
Eating regularly and staying hydrated can have a big impact on mood and energy levels. But food can also be linked to shame or control struggles, especially if you’re feeling low.
Some gentle tips:
- Keep simple, comforting foods on hand
- Eat small amounts often, if big meals feel hard
- Don’t aim for “perfect” nutrition – just enough to fuel your day
- Drink water regularly, even if you don’t feel thirsty
Taking care of your body is an act of self-respect. It’s not about punishment or discipline – it’s about kindness.
Connect with someone
BPD often affects how we experience relationships. You might feel desperate for connection one moment, then want to isolate the next. That’s completely valid – but connection, even in small ways, can help stabilise emotions.
Some manageable options:
- Send a quick text to someone you trust
- Join a peer support group online
- Chat with a barista or neighbour – small talk counts
- Cuddle a pet, if you have one
If relationships feel fraught, it’s okay to set boundaries. You don’t have to explain everything. The goal is safe connection, not forced vulnerability.
Use self-care tools
When emotions start to spiral, having tools ready can make a huge difference. These don’t replace therapy, but they help you ride out the waves.
Some things that help others with BPD:
- A box with comforting items (photos, scents, soft textures)
- Cold water on your hands or face – it can interrupt panic
- Writing a letter you don’t send, just to release what you’re holding
- Holding an ice cube or using grounding techniques (e.g. 5-4-3-2-1 senses)
Find what works for you. It might take some trial and error. But knowing you have options is empowering.
Wind down before bed
Sleep is essential for emotional regulation – but many people with BPD struggle to rest. A calming bedtime routine can help signal to your body and brain that it’s time to slow down.
Try:
- Switching off screens an hour before sleep
- Using soft lighting or fairy lights
- Reading a gentle book (nothing too heavy or intense)
- Writing out your thoughts in a notebook to stop them circling
You don’t have to fall asleep instantly. The point is creating a space that feels safe and quiet, where you can soften into rest.
Be gentle with your inner critic
Many people with BPD carry intense shame. You might feel like you’re too much, or not enough – often both at once. Self-care includes tending to that voice inside.
Some ways to soften self-judgement:
- Speak to yourself like you would a friend
- Write down what your inner critic says – and challenge it with facts
- Say, “This feeling is valid, but it’s not the whole truth”
- Remind yourself: you’re not broken. You’re doing your best.
This takes time. Compassion isn’t always easy. But it’s the most powerful long-term self-care tool you can build.
Celebrate the small wins
With BPD, daily life can feel like hard work. It takes energy just to get out of bed, manage feelings or face the outside world. So celebrate the small victories.
Some examples:
- Got dressed today? Win.
- Reached out instead of isolating? Win.
- Took a break instead of lashing out? Massive win.
Write them down if you can. A small success today is still a step forward.
Know when to ask for help
Self-care doesn’t mean doing it all alone. It’s brave to ask for support. If you notice patterns that are getting harder to manage – more intense emotions, impulsive urges or deep feelings of emptiness – it’s okay to reach out.
You might:
- Talk to a GP or mental health professional
- Call a crisis line if you’re overwhelmed
- Let a trusted person know you’re struggling
- Revisit therapy or support groups
Asking for help is part of caring for yourself. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed – it means you’re taking your wellbeing seriously.
Final thoughts: Daily self-care practices for managing BPD
Managing BPD day-to-day takes patience, courage and a lot of compassion. Some days will feel harder than others, even when you’re doing everything “right”. That’s okay.
What matters is building small habits that support your mind and body. Over time, they help you create more stability, trust and self-understanding.
Whether you’re living with BPD or walking alongside someone who is – you are not alone. Keep going. You’re doing better than you think.
