Mental health is finally getting the attention it deserves in the workplace. Yet, some conditions remain misunderstood. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is one of them. As a manager or employer, knowing how to support an employee with BPD can make a big difference – not just for them, but for your whole team.
Table of Contents:
What is BPD?
Borderline Personality Disorder is a mental health condition that affects emotional regulation. People with BPD may experience intense mood swings, struggle with self-image and have difficulty managing relationships. They often feel emotions more deeply and for longer than others might.
It’s important to remember that people with BPD are not their diagnosis. With the right support and understanding, they can thrive in the workplace.
Spotting the signs
While only a professional can diagnose BPD, being aware of common behaviours can help you respond with empathy. Some signs an employee may be living with BPD include:
- Rapid mood changes
- Fear of abandonment
- Intense reactions to perceived criticism
- Trouble maintaining consistent working relationships
- Impulsivity or burnout
These signs aren’t always obvious and can overlap with other mental health challenges. Never assume or label – focus on supporting the person as an individual.
Why support matters
Supporting employees with BPD isn’t just the right thing to do – it’s also good business. Inclusive workplaces enjoy higher morale, lower turnover and better overall performance.
Employees with BPD often bring strong emotional intelligence, creativity and passion to their work. When supported well, they can be incredibly loyal and committed.
How to provide support
Build trust
Start by fostering open and honest communication. Let your employee know you’re there to support them, and that they can come to you if they’re struggling. Keep the door open – literally and figuratively.
Don’t push them to disclose their condition. If they choose to share, listen without judgement. Thank them for their trust.
Educate yourself
Take time to learn about BPD. Read reputable resources or speak to HR or occupational health advisors. Understanding BPD helps you respond to challenges with compassion rather than frustration.
Avoid outdated myths, such as the idea that people with BPD are manipulative. These misconceptions can cause harm and stigma.
Set clear boundaries
People with BPD may struggle with boundaries, especially if they fear rejection. That doesn’t mean you should avoid setting them. In fact, clear, consistent boundaries provide a sense of safety.
Be kind but firm. If you say meetings start at 9am, stick to it. If feedback is given constructively and fairly to everyone, ensure that’s the same for them too.
Create structure
Consistency helps reduce anxiety. Keep routines and expectations as stable as possible. Give advance notice of changes when you can – even small adjustments can feel destabilising.
Provide clear instructions and break down tasks when needed. Visual schedules, written summaries or checklists can also help.
Offer flexibility
Where possible, offer adjustments such as:
- Flexible working hours
- A quieter workspace
- Time off for therapy
- More regular check-ins
These don’t need to be expensive or disruptive. Small changes can have a huge impact.
Be mindful with feedback
People with BPD may take criticism very personally. That doesn’t mean you should avoid giving it – just be thoughtful in your approach.
Stick to facts, not feelings. Focus on behaviours, not personality. Balance with positive feedback where appropriate. For example: “You’ve done a great job on this report. One area we can improve next time is the formatting – let me show you what I mean.”
Use support systems
You’re not expected to be a therapist. Encourage your employee to use resources such as:
- Employee Assistance Programmes (EAPs)
- Occupational health
- Their own GP or mental health support team
You can also speak to HR or a mental health first aider for guidance on your role.
Promote a culture of wellbeing
When mental health is normalised, everyone benefits. Talk openly about stress, wellbeing and balance. Make it part of your team’s regular conversation.
Celebrate diversity in thinking and emotional expression. Encourage peer support and kindness. Model healthy behaviours yourself.
What not to do
- Don’t take things personally: An employee with BPD may react strongly in the moment. Take a step back before responding.
- Don’t make assumptions: Every person’s experience is different.
- Don’t “diagnose” someone: Focus on supporting behaviours, not labels.
- Don’t ignore your own needs: Supporting others is easier when you take care of your own wellbeing too.
Legal considerations
In the UK, BPD can be considered a disability under the Equality Act 2010 if it has a long-term and substantial impact on daily life. This means you may have a legal duty to make reasonable adjustments.
Even if an employee hasn’t disclosed a diagnosis, it’s good practice to offer support where it’s needed.
If in doubt, seek advice from HR or legal professionals. A supportive response now can prevent conflict or complaints later on.
Final thoughts: How to support an employee with BPD
Supporting an employee with BPD may require patience, understanding and flexibility. But the reward is a more inclusive, resilient team.
Don’t underestimate the power of small changes. A calm tone, a consistent routine or a listening ear can all make a big difference.
Above all, treat your employee as a person first. Their diagnosis is just one part of who they are.
By creating a workplace where everyone feels safe, valued and respected, you’re building a better team – and a better business.
