Emotional dysregulation means having trouble managing your emotional responses. It can affect how you feel, think and behave. Some people may feel emotions very strongly and find it hard to calm down. Others may have sudden mood changes that seem to come out of nowhere.
This is not a personal failure or weakness. It is a real difficulty that many people face. It can be linked to certain mental health conditions, stress or past experiences.
Who it affects
Emotional dysregulation can affect anyone, at any age. It is common in people who live with:
- borderline personality disorder (BPD)
- attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
- post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
- anxiety or depression
Young people going through big life changes or difficult situations might also struggle with emotional regulation.
You might notice it in yourself or someone else. For example, a person might cry, shout or withdraw suddenly. They may feel overwhelmed by small things or find it hard to calm down after getting upset.
What emotional dysregulation feels like
People who experience emotional dysregulation might:
- feel emotions very intensely
- find it hard to know what they are feeling
- struggle to calm down once upset
- react strongly to stress, rejection or change
- have sudden changes in mood
- feel shame, guilt or anger often
This can affect relationships, school, work and daily life. It might feel confusing, tiring or out of control.
What causes emotional dysregulation
There are many possible causes. These may include:
- difficult or traumatic experiences, especially in early life
- problems with brain development or function
- long-term stress or neglect
- certain mental health conditions
Not everyone with emotional dysregulation has a mental health condition. But it is often a sign that someone is finding things hard and may need support.
How to support someone
If someone you know is struggling with emotional dysregulation, you can help by:
- staying calm and patient
- listening without judging
- helping them find words for what they feel
- encouraging healthy coping strategies like deep breathing or taking time out
- helping them find professional support if needed
Try not to take emotional outbursts personally. They may be a sign of distress, not a reflection of how the person feels about you.
Getting help and treatment
If emotional dysregulation is affecting your life or someone else’s, it is a good idea to seek support. This might include:
- speaking to a GP
- seeing a therapist or counsellor
- getting a referral to mental health services
- joining a support group
Therapies like Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can help people manage emotions more effectively.
Summary: What is emotional dysregulation?
Emotional dysregulation means struggling to manage emotions. It can be linked to mental health conditions but also happens on its own. People may feel overwhelmed, react strongly or have sudden mood changes. It is not a choice or a character flaw.
With the right support, people can learn to manage their emotions in healthier ways. If you or someone you care about is finding it hard to cope, help is available.
